Unmasking the Confidence Illusion: Why You've Been Lying to Yourself All Along!

Jul 24, 2023
Confidence Self Confidence

Do you have Unstoppable Confidence in All Areas of Life? 

Chances are the answer is NO!

What you might not see is confidence is situational and it comes with competence. You may catch yourself saying things like, "I wish I had the confidence to do (insert thing). You have been lying to yourself unknowingly. You tell yourself that you aren't confident, yet you have all the confidence you will ever have right now! Yup. Confidence comes with action. You are confident in situations that are familiar.

What would it be like to have the confidence to speak up at meetings? Tell people how you feel and know that you can handle any objections? Walk into every room like God sent you and believe it!

This time last year I was in this sinking ship of life and down with the ship was my confidence. I had major life events happen where I felt my confidence waver like a seedling in the wind. Let's be real- I felt like an incompetent human being. 😳 I was in a shit storm April 2022. 🤯

This is what happened:

✅ I got a divorce.

✅ I moved houses

✅ I was asked to step down or out of my business after years of hard work

✅ I had no revenue coming in, no buyout and lost all my digital assets

✅ My dad, nephew and brother died on top of that! 


Talk about feeling like a failure. 

I even had a client sign up to work with me and a few days later ask for a $15K refund because she believed, "There is no way you can go through all of that and hold space for me to get to where I want to go."

Talk about another big blow to the confidence. Insert- fist pump to the throat, a kick to the gut and a feeling of being dragged through the mud. I never "FELT" so down in my confidence in my life.

I did what any conscious human would do- I called my coach.

After a few weeks of taking one action at a time and digging deep I unleashed my confidence that was already there! Not only did I survive, I thrived in the chaos and kicked my BS thoughts to the curb.

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In this newsletter, I will share three simple steps that transform fear into unyielding courage, allowing you to unlock next level confidence to live and thrive to the fullest in both life and business!

First of all, in today's fast-paced and competitive world, confidence is an indispensable asset in both your personal and professional life. It empowers you to embrace challenges, take risks, and unleash your full potential. Yet, unleashing your confidence can seem like an impossible task- or a throat punch.

Before delving into the steps, it's crucial to comprehend this:

You already possess all the confidence you'll ever need—right now! Confidence isn't about perfection or the absence of self-doubt; it's about taking action to enhance your competence so that you "feel" confident. It's a state of mind that evolves through action. With this understanding, let's unleash your confidence so you can be unstoppable. 

Step 1: Embrace Self-Awareness

The initial stride towards unlocking confidence is cultivating self-awareness. Dedicate time to understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and passions. (Take my quiz to learn more). Reflect on past triumphs and challenges, identifying patterns that help reveal your true potential. By gaining profound insights into yourself, you establish a sturdy foundation for building confidence.

Try this:

SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP. I know you're busy and have a lot on your plate, but constant busyness hinders confidence.

Allow yourself space to gain clarity, pivot, and take new actions.

Create a list of what's working and what needs improvement. Select one area that's not going well and commit to an action plan. Evaluating, though not always easy, is essential.

Step 2: Cultivate Positive Self-Talk

We have approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, and unfortunately, most of them are automatic and negative. Observe your thoughts and their impact on your confidence levels. Negative self-talk acts as a significant barrier to unlocking confidence, while positive self-talk fuels it.

Try this:

  • Challenge your self-limiting beliefs and ask, "Is it true?" If it's not, replace it with an upgraded belief. When I had the thought, "I suck. Nobody would want to work with me." I asked myself, "Is this true?" I had to ask myself if that was fact or a story that was robbing me of the joy in the journey. It was a story because when I took step 3 I created 36 new clients!
  • Practice self-compassion and focus on your achievements and strengths. People tend to fixate on "what's wrong," but cultivating positive self-talk creates a supportive inner dialogue that unlocks your confidence.

The challenge lies in emphasizing achievements and strengths even during life's shit storms.

Step 3: Taking Action and Celebrating Progress

Action. Action. Action.

Confidence flourishes through action. Small steps lead to significant breakthroughs. Stepping outside your comfort zone, tackling challenges head-on—these are vital for unlocking confidence. It means having the tough conversations, speaking up instead of holding back, and standing your ground when your passions ignite.

Try this:

  • Set an achievable game and break it down into manageable tasks.
  • Celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how small.
  • Recognize your efforts and accomplishments, as this reinforces your belief in yourself and bolsters your confidence.

When I used these tools I levelled up my confidence and you can too.

I went from sitting on my couch crying for weeks and being a victim to:

  • Relaunching a business I feel proud to be a part of;
  • Created a summit, a retreat, multiple group programs, 36 high level clients, 5 speaking events;
  • Completed a leadership course;
  • Went on 3 vacations with my daughters;
  • Generated a multi 6 figure income in 6 months- without an email list; youtube channel or a big Facebook group.

I am NOT unique. My clients are also experiencing the benefits of unleashing next level confidence and this is also within your grasp.

By embracing self-awareness, cultivating positive self-talk, and taking action while celebrating progress, you'll unlock the unwavering confidence needed to thrive. Remember, confidence is not a destination—it's a journey of growth, empowerment, and self-discovery. Big breakdowns create big breakthroughs!

In the pursuit of your dreams, may your confidence be your guiding light, illuminating the path to remarkable success!

Ready to take your journey of growth, empowerment, and self discovery? Unlock Your Desires Today 

I want you to unlock your desires so you have the confidence to go after all you want in your life. You get to be unleashed and free and I want to partner with you to get it!

Cheers to your success.


Published by

Tina Brigley